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Observations of a Young Nigerian Female . Powered by Blogger.

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I am young, "normal" and I like to write. People say I eat too much, people don't know what they are saying.

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Self-Love and All That Good Stuff Also, Self-Love for The Average Nigerian Because I Couldn’t Decide On a Title

Uncharacteristically, this is going to be a really short article, because, well, because I’m tired. Also because my head is full of tasks that piled up over the week, but mostly because I’m tired.

This year, I’ve been thinking a lot about showing myself some love for real. I’m always writing content for clients on self-love; articles, social media content and even books. It’s gotten to the point where it feels like the words I write are mocking me.

Self-love is really just showing yourself love, there’s no deep definition for it. You know how you treat people you love? Practising self-love is doing the same for yourself. No, it’s not a spa day, yoga or your skincare routine; all good things, but not self-love. You see, self-love is not a thing you do, it’s how you treat yourself, at all times.

Now, this next paragraph cannot be understood by single people, so maybe go ahead and skip this one, Mena.

You know how you love your significant other so much you’d do anything for them? Letting them sleep in, clearing out your bank account for the birthday gift you know they’d absolutely love, cooking their favourite meals, forcing them to get medical care when they’re sick, inviting over all the people they love so they can have a good time, all that good stuff. It’s how you should feel about yourself, it’s how you should treat yourself.

Unfortunately, when you’re Nigerian, self-love is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, harder than SS2 further maths. It feels like you’re going against yourself when you try to practice self-love. My Jumia wishlist is full of things I love but may never get, but my cart always has something for someone else. Does that sound like you? Do you feel selfish when you do stuff for yourself? Do you always cheap out when you’re getting things for yourself but spare no expense when it’s for someone else? Yep, we’ve all got that problem.

Well, this year, I’ve decided to treat myself better, as well as I treat others; to take my own advice and take a break, buy myself something I like once in a while, get help when I need it, and basically just treat myself like I would any human being I have positive feelings for. Gentlemen and ladies, it is HARD. The most I’ve done is sort of stay away from work on my birthday because I really needed a break. Now, I say sort of because I stayed away from my laptop, but I did everything I could do on my phone and iPad.

We’re not wired to be nice to ourselves; we’re either hustling for the family or for the good of our country, or whatever else comes up. That’s how we wind up with all the mental health issues we have, and we Nigerians have a lot of them. That’s how we end up overwhelmed and burnt out so early in life.

People are different and need to be loved different, so I can’t tell you what to do in practising self-love. Here’s what I can tell you. Take advice from 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 4;

Self-love is being patient with yourself, understanding your abilities, your limitations, your strengths and trusting yourself to get there in your own time rather than putting pressure on yourself. You’re not king of the world yet? Well, darling, it takes a little more than a year to take over the world.

Self-love is being kind to yourself. Ada, eat please. There’s no camera crew following you around to see if you’re suffering, and really, suffering does not bring success, hard work does, and even that doesn’t work all the time. Be kind to yourself, take care of your body, pay attention to the state of your soul, and protect your mind no matter who you need to block to do that.

Self-love does not envy; so what is with all the comparison? You are you, and that’s not enough. You work hard and it’s ok for other people to be ahead of you. Did she lose weight faster? Good for her. You graduated together and she’s in a Benz? Alright. Life is a sort of race; if you keep looking at the others in the race, you’re going to lose focus and fall behind, or worse still, trip and fall. Focus on the road ahead of you and keep moving. When you pay attention to other people’s lives, you don’t pay enough attention to your own life and that’s doing yourself a disservice.

Science and general gist say that when you show love to things or people, they thrive. You deserve to thrive and I know you want to, so be good to yourself, and please note that thriving isn’t equal to money in the bank account. You’re not thriving if you’re filthy rich and sick or depressed, which is also sick, but this is not the day for that conversation.

I don’t know how this became a long article, but be good to yourself; you deserve love and no one can love you better than you love yourself.

I’m going to buy myself one of the items on my Jumia wishlist today.

Psych! Yeah, I’m not going to do that, but I am going to buy my niece the really pretty shoes I saved a while ago because I know she’ll love them. They light up! Self-love is a journey and I just got started.


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  1. Nice article. I think I will buy something for myself tomorrow 😌🙂

  2. Great content. Thank you for reminding me that love starts with loving me regardless.

  3. I started reading with the expectation to have a short read but No😀. Anyways, it was worth the read.

    This has eaten deep into me.🤦
    I'd have to join you on the Journey of self love. Thank you for sharing, ma'am.

  4. So true.. we all have this problem with self-love. I'll start doing better for myself.

  5. When you said you it was going to be a short article, I was like o...k lemme see the length and I kept scrolling,lolz. It was a great read actually made me understand I shouldn't be stingy on myself. Its sha believed people who are into my profession is. Self love is the goal💖. Thanks for sharing

  6. I think I truly need to take a break and get something for myself.
    It all starts with you.
    I think the peak milk advert was talking about self love, when it stated "It's in you".
    It should be the other way round which is "It starts with you".
    Charity should really begin at home.😂
    I see why my Mom calls me an Aradite whatever that means, only she can explain.

    Okay let me go get something tomorrow for myself.

  7. Very True. I'm taking myself out this Valentine. Thanks for this gentle reminder.

  8. Funny SS2 furthermaths, is it that hard, the comparison though, anyways nice piece

  9. Thanks for the shade. You are a bad person but an awfully great writer. Will take your son out on a date and buy nice things for him and I. Thanks

  10. Thanks for this🙏, this just expanded my mind about self love really!… I am going to rest more and buy more things for myself amongst other things 🤗

  11. I enjoyed the article. I think I've not been nice to myself, based on the fact that they say I'm not doing enough even though I still have others who say I am doing well. But at the end of the day, I go with the latter. I do not know why but I think I now understand the true essence of self-love and all it brings.


I am a young, Nigerian female who does not possess the abilities and genetic disposition to reserve her comments.

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