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Observations of a Young Nigerian Female . Powered by Blogger.

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I am young, "normal" and I like to write. People say I eat too much, people don't know what they are saying.

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Marriage, Motherhood, and More

I’ve been writing this piece in my head for a very, very long time and finally, here it is, a jumble of thoughts for your reading pleasure.

You may be wondering why I’m publishing an article about motherhood on my blog after writing so much on content development, copywriting and the other Cs. Is this about to become a parenting blog? I certainly hope not! But I’ve been away for so long the last time I published an article was January, and so I think some catching up is in order.

I started this blog because I needed a place to express myself. Like every writer, my head can become so clogged with thoughts and memories that I can’t do anything worthwhile until I’ve written them out. This is one of those times. I’ve had the most alien experiences of my life in this year, not bad experiences, just alien, strange, different from what I know.

If you have been following this blog, you know the theme is “Whatever’s going on in Anita’s head” and in the past, that has ranged from literature to freelancing, to business. Seeing as the things that have happened to me this year have been pivotal, it only makes sense that I write this.

So, in the spirit of self-expression, here’s what I’ve been up to;


I got married. That should just about sum it up but it doesn’t. I used to scoff at people who “let marriage change them”. I thought I was better than them, but I am so not. This girl is a hopeless romantic who stopped working late because of cuddles and now has a ridiculously lovey-dovey valentine’s day card on her desk which she stares at and then daydreams about 5 times a day. It’s absurd.

My work pace slowed, I started taking more breaks, and (you’re not going to believe this) stopped working on some weekends!


I used to have a timeline for milestones in my life and getting married at 23 was not the plan, and having a baby was definitely not scheduled for age 24. Yet here I am, there’s a bassinet beside my desk and I’ve actually been in zoom meetings while pumping breastmilk simultaneously. Let’s not even talk about how electric breast pumps will make you feel like a cow until you get used to being, well, a cow.

All the same, I’m a mother now and it is the absolute weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve experienced a lot of weird things.

When I got used to the idea of having a child, I imagined all these lovely moments where I’d rock my baby to sleep singing Edelweiss from sound of music. I tried it once. I downloaded the entire sound of music playlist, and one night while he was screaming away, I played Edelweiss and sang along waiting for my baby to go “ahhh” and then settle into a deep sleep. He stopped for a nanosecond and then resumed screaming, this time, so loud that I could not hear Captain Von Trapp’s voice anymore.

I imagined my baby and I would have these lovely moments where he would stare up at me in awe and smile because he knows he’s the luckiest baby in the world. What did I get instead? A kid who has a curious look on his face ALL THE TIME. I sing, he stares; I dance, he stares; peekaboo? He stares. Worse still, sometimes he just looks away while I’m working hard to entertain him.

I thought maybe physical touch was his thing but when I kiss him on the cheek, he turns towards me, not to give me a kiss back, but to suck on my face because he thinks it’s food. I’ve come to terms with the fact that all I am to him right now is the milkmaid; it’s a sucky position to hold but it’s better than his dad’s position which is “weird guy who keeps smiling at me”.

I used to spend my nights crafting genius pieces of content but I’m a daytime writer now. My nights are spent sitting up every hour to feed and/or cuddle the new boss. To fill the hours, I’ve read almost everything John Grisham and Sophie Kinsella have written. I even started playing games. Who would have thought!

Basically, after 9 months of throwing up the whole day and lying on the floor when I wasn’t throwing up, I got a child who only sees milk when he sees me.

Still, weirdly enough, this is the happiest I’ve ever been. I was barely on social media, I haven’t had coffee in almost a year, I lost clients because some days I didn’t have the energy to pick up my phone, still somehow, it’s nothing compared to how happy my new family makes me feel.


Between then and now, I haven’t stopped having ideas, and as I always tell the people who listen to me and the people who don’t, it’s ok as long as you can still have ideas. Every idea I’ve had this year has been written down, reviewed and is now under development. I told my brother sometime in the middle of the year that I’m no longer wasting ideas and he shouldn’t too, and I’m telling you the same.

The world is a crazy place but your ideas are like steps, they take you closer to what you want out of life. If it can work, don’t throw it out. That’s who I’ve been this year; the idea hoarder. Whether I had the energy to work on it or not, I’ve saved every idea and now, each idea is a project. I’m working on a few books, a revision of my self-help book published in 2019, and my team and I at Words on Us are working on a new product. I’m unpacking a lot of stuff, facing my fears and trying new things, and I hope you’ll be here to follow the journey.

This year has taught me how easy it can be to give up and go to sleep for the rest of your life but I’m not that guy and I’m not about to let that happen. It’s ok to pause; sometimes, it’s a necessity. Just don’t forget to press play.

You can expect more articles from me, and I promise they won’t all be about breast pumps and bassinets. If there’s a subject you’re curious about and would like me to talk about, email me at [email protected]


Location is : Lagos, Nigeria

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  1. This blog post got me pumped up on working out all the ideas I've been hoarding all year. Now I know that despite the year coming to an end, it's not too late to get to work.

  2. It's funny how you imagined your baby would care about your jokes but reality hit you, sorry o!

    About enjoying family and love, I am currently adopting the thought that I will be through with being a workaholic once I marry. I will choose cuddles over deadlines and it will be okay.

    Write another one.

    I'm waiting.

  3. Interesting and i am happy you found your way around this phase...you are strong because trust me this phase stops or put so many things on hold.
    I hope to see more write ups of good parenting soon.


  4. Sounds familiar! Hang in there dear! Let's push till finish! Cheers to family! Cheers to motherhood! Nnu Ego, chai!

  5. Your articles are always entertaining, informative and self-discovering. I loved every piece, and it makes me more committed to what I want to achieve before the year runs out. Thank you Annie

  6. An Amazing article on motherhood that still comes with words of wisdom... "Every Idea is a Step" I am encouraged💪.
    Thank you ma.

  7. Motherhood is amazing! Look what it has done to Mrs Anita. I love this part of you. More wins, ma'am.

  8. I loved how realistic you painted motherhood and the unplanned but beautiful changes after marriage.

    This article has warmed my heart.

    Thank you, ma.

  9. You are such a great writer. 🤣 Love your sense of humour. ❤

  10. You write so well and making reading an easy one! Kudos mummy bombom��


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